What a celpip9 report looks like

Published dimensions

Dimension names are the published Writing performance standards; the sub-factor rows and levels are celpip9’s own estimate.

What to fix, in your own sentences

Each item quotes you, names the tag, and shows your sentence revised. No template answers (they can void a real result).

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  The library closes at six. So they cannot come.

  Your sentence, revised

  The library closes at six, so they cannot come.

  Your response is mostly very short sentences that stand alone. Joining related ideas with words like "so", "because" and "but" makes your reasoning easier to follow and less choppy.

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  Many people work in the day. They finish at five or six.

  Your sentence, revised

  Many people work during the day and finish at five or six.

  These two sentences are about the same people, so you can join them with "and". This reads more smoothly and shows how your ideas are linked.

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  Students also need a quiet place at night.

  Your sentence, revised

  Students also need a quiet place to study at night, for example when they are getting ready for exams.

  This is a good point, but it is only a general statement. Add a short detail from your own life, such as when you or someone you know needed a quiet place to study. That would make the reason more convincing, and it would also bring your answer closer to the expected length.

• Repetitionvocabulary.repetition

  You wrote

  Buying computers is a big cost and computers become old in three years.

  Your sentence, revised

  Buying computers is a big cost, and the machines become outdated in three years.

  You use "computers" many times in this part. Here, a replacement word like "the machines" avoids repeating it, and "outdated" says more exactly what you mean than "old".

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  Computers are not so necessary.

  Your sentence, revised

  For this reason, computers are not so necessary.

  This sentence is your conclusion from the point about phones. A linking phrase at the start shows the reader that it follows from what you just said.

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  Longer hours is better for them.

  Your sentence, revised

  For this reason, longer hours are better for them.

  Most of your ideas are in very short sentences with no links between them, so they feel choppy. A linking phrase shows that this sentence is the result of what you just said. Also, "hours" is plural, so it takes "are."

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  Also the library building is already there.

  Your sentence, revised

  In addition, the library building already exists.

  Putting "Also" at the start of a sentence with no comma reads like speech. A clearer linking phrase at the start of your paragraph signals a new reason. At 120 words, your response is under the expected 150–200 words, so this paragraph could also be developed further.

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  So they cannot come.

  Your sentence, revised

  As a result, they cannot visit the library after work.

  Your first paragraph is a list of very short sentences, which makes it sound choppy. A clear linking phrase and a more complete clause show how the closing time causes the problem.

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  Computers are not so necessary.

  Your sentence, revised

  For this reason, computers are less necessary for many library visitors.

  This is your main reason for rejecting Option B, but you give no support for it. Add a real detail from your own experience, such as how you or people you know use a phone for things you once did on a library computer.

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  Opening it longer is not a big cost.

  Your sentence, revised

  Opening it longer is not a big cost, because the main extra expense is [what you think it would be].

  You say longer hours are cheap but you don't explain why. Name what the extra cost would be, such as staff time or electricity, so this comparison with Option B convinces the reader. It also helps you get closer to the expected 150–200 words, because this response is only about 125.

• Connectorsreadability.connectors

  You wrote

  The library is quiet.

  Your sentence, revised

  In contrast, the library is quiet.

  This sentence is set against the noise at home, but nothing tells the reader that. A contrast connector makes that link clear.

• Repetitionvocabulary.repetition

  You wrote

  Option B is also good.

  Your sentence, revised

  Option B also has clear advantages.

  "Good" is a very general word. A more precise phrase makes your concession sound more considered before you explain why you still prefer Option A.

Published dimensions

Dimension names are the published Speaking performance standards; the sub-factor rows and levels are celpip9’s own estimate.

What to fix, in your own sentences

Each item quotes you, names the tag, and shows your sentence revised. No template answers (they can void a real result).

• Fillerslistenability.fillers

  You wrote

  I called the plumber but he said, um, three days, and I cannot wait three days, so, uh, I decided to fix it myself.

  Your sentence, revised

  I called the plumber but he said he could only come in three days, and I could not wait three days, so I decided to fix it myself.

  You use "um" or "uh" in almost every sentence, and that breaks up a story that is otherwise easy to follow. Pause silently instead. Here, finishing the plumber's message in full words also makes it clearer.

• Fillerslistenability.fillers

  You wrote

  It was, uh, dripping all the night and I could not sleep.

  Your sentence, revised

  It was dripping all night and I could not sleep.

  If you drop the "uh", this sentence comes out in one smooth line. Also, English says "all night", not "all the night".

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  I felt, um, very proud actually.

  Your sentence, revised

  I felt very proud, actually, because

  You say you were proud but don't say why. Finish the sentence with a real reason from your own life, like whether this was your first home repair or how much money you saved compared with the plumber.

• No structurecontent.no-structure

  You wrote

  Yeah, that is the story.

  Your sentence, revised

  So that is the story, and after that I

  "That is the story" stops the talk without really ending it. You had about 12 seconds left, so finish with something real that changed for you afterwards, like whether you now try small repairs yourself.

• Repetitionvocabulary.repetition

  You wrote

  It was a good feeling to fix it.

  Your sentence, revised

  It was a good feeling to repair it on my own.

  You already said "fix it myself", and "a good feeling" repeats "proud" from the sentence before. Changing the verb gives your last sentence a bit more variety.

• Fillerslistenability.fillers

  You wrote

  I watched some videos, um, on the internet, and I bought a small part from the hardware store, it was, uh, maybe eight dollars.

  Your sentence, revised

  I watched some videos on the internet, and I bought a small part from the hardware store; it was maybe eight dollars.

  You use "um" or "uh" in almost every sentence, and it breaks up a story that is otherwise clear. If you need time to think, try a short silent pause instead of a sound.

• Repetitionvocabulary.repetition

  You wrote

  I called the plumber but he said, um, three days, and I cannot wait three days, so, uh, I decided to fix it myself.

  Your sentence, revised

  I called the plumber but he said he could only come in three days, and I could not wait that long, so I decided to fix it myself.

  You say "three days" twice in a row. "That long" refers back to it, so the sentence sounds smoother. Keeping the past tense ("could not") also matches the rest of your story.

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  And then I closed the water and I opened the tap and, um, I changed the part.

  Your sentence, revised

  And then I turned off the water, I opened the tap and I replaced the part that was causing the drip.

  The repair is the main moment of your story, but "the part" doesn't tell the listener what you actually did. Name the real part and say what you saw when you opened the tap. Also, we "turn off" water; we don't "close" it.

• No supporting examplecontent.no-example

  You wrote

  I watched some videos, um, on the internet, and I bought a small part from the hardware store, it was, uh, maybe eight dollars.

  Your sentence, revised

  I watched some videos on the internet, and they showed me what was wrong, so I bought a small part from the hardware store for maybe eight dollars.

  Add one detail about what the videos taught you, such as how you worked out which piece was broken. It connects your research to the repair and makes the story sound more like your own experience.